Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Unbelievably Sad & Hurtful Story

I was gathering my things to go to a work appointment and had the Today Show on for company, when my ears caught a story about 're-homing'. It was a good thing everyone had left because I stood there in front of the TV with my mouth hanging open!!!
It was the story of Anna Barnes, who was adopted in Russia and brought to the US when she was 7; this was her second 're-homing'. Now her second set of parents, Gary & Lisa Barnes, regret adopting her; they feel they were not told about her emotional & behavioral problems that she brought from Russia. You gotta love this analogy: from her dad -- “This is a bad analogy, but it’s sort of like selling a used car,” Gary Barnes says of why he and his wife weren’t told more. “If you tell someone it breaks down every day, nobody’s going to buy it.” At least he admits it is a bad analogy BUT STILL!!!! For them, counseling was too expensive and inconvenient - really!! Ever think of asking a clergy member, or a school psychologist, or a doctor for help??? A home for troubled kids said she was not a good fit. They spent ONE, OH BOY - ONE year trying to fix the problem, they figured 'they needed to get away from it'.
So they decided to give Anna to a couple they met in a Yahoo chat room/forum, Respite - Rehoming, who came forth and it was decided that Anna would go with them. This couple made up a home study, even with a social worker's name on it. This new 'family' took Anna to a dilapidated trailer with urine & feces on the floor, puppies left inside, and pictures of 2 other children who had 'died'. Plus this location was in another state and since this can be an underground network, there is little prosecution. Hope that changes.
After Anna ran into her adopted father, Gary brought Anna back because he knew something was not right about these people (just these people????). Anna is now living with friends.

What do people think?? These kids know that they have been abandoned by their biological family; they have been abandoned by another adoptive family. It is a defense mechanism to try and make people not like you, to see what they will do, to see if they will stick by you. These kids have little self-esteem, in their eyes - no one cares, they will only get moved around again so why attach themselves to a family.

A little ranting here -- COME ON PEOPLE!! Being the mom of 2 adopted boys from here in the states, through the local state agency, no one is perfect. These 2 boys came with their own sets of issues and to this day, can give us a run for our money, for different reasons. For a few years in high school, it felt like our oldest was on the edge to do just about anything - constantly acting out and defying rules, making bad choices. The middle guy tries our patience with his constant repetition of questions, statements, listening to the same music or videos or pieces of those things, not caring about personal hygiene. We knew almost nothing about their biological families and to this day, don't know much. BUT THEY ARE OURS. Legally according to the state (even tho I have been reminded, when the oldest is mad at me, that I am not his real mom), I tell him 'you're right! But in the eyes of the law I am. I am responsible for you.'. We love these guys like our own. When introduced, they are our sons, not adopted sons.

Do these people feel that biological children are better?? I have heard stories that would say otherwise -- kids are kids are kids and teenagers will make you want to pull your hair out and have sleepless nights. Were the Barnes' wonderful, angelic teens?? I just can't believe these people had the guts to face the public with this. Get this - If they turned Anna over to the state of Texas, the Barneses say they were told, they would be considered unfit parents and have to pay child support until she turned 18. OH TOO BAD!!! You accepted the responsibility, take care of the children. How much of a throwaway society are we???

To read the article and watch the video, go here.

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