Realizing the Men are Caregivers too.

(picture from Columbia magazine).

My in-laws have their other children and spouses, as well as Frank (and myself when asked), helping them with daily living needs and taking them to doctor appointments. Frank is also overseeing their finances. This seemed to stand out even more when I came across an article in the Knight of Columbus magazine, Columbia July 2014, titled 'Sandwich Generation'. Author Brian Caulfield writes that he shares the caregiving of his parents with 2 brothers. Being a dad and husband himself as well, he asks how much his efforts helps either family.


Many baby boomers find themselves in the same situation also juggling work demands. One big point he makes, is that this situation is a blessing, although many days it seems like a chore. A blessing when it comes to it being a good place for all involved -

* it keeps us away from all our electronics and mindless diversions we have;
* that we are needed can be a double edged sword: it may boost our self-image and confidence but it keeps us humble as we realize we cannot change the aging process;
* we face dignity of people as our parent struggle with possibly having to ask for help with toileting needs
* our mom still want to take care of others while not being able to take care of herself;
* at home, we see our families stepping in to make the most of us being away.



As Brian writes, "We are weighed down by the struggle and the work and the hope we pit against the stubborn fact of physical decline and death. But we are also saved from our natural presumption of good health. Watching our parents age and weaken keeps us close to our own mortality, and if we are wise, we stay mindful of the four last things: death, judgment, heaven and hell. I was privileged to be present when my dad received the sacrament of anointing and witnessed the real emotional, spiritual and even physical renewal that ensued. When I told my sons of this experience, they were sad that granddad almost died, but they were also drawn more deeply into the faith that reaches beyond the grave".



Caring.com has an article, "The Male Caregiver" by Dave Singleton. Dave writes that it is harder for men especially when it comes to being the caretaker of the parent of the opposite sex. His mom found it hard to get use to him helping with her personal needs but sees it as love helping with her needs and keeping her privacy and dignity as best can. His article also states that " A 2012 analysis by the Pew Research Center's Internet and American Life Project found that men represent 45 percent of all family caregivers. And the Alzheimer's Association reported that between 1996 and 2011, the percentage of men caring for a family member with Alzheimer's disease or other dementia more than doubled, from 19 to 40 percent".



The article cites several reasons for the change: more women are in the workforce so men have to step in, many families have children living out-of-state so if there is a male child close by he becomes the caregiver, more employers are letting their male employees take time off to stay home. Not to overlook is the fact that men have the same health issues to deal with as women, so they need to remember to take care of themselves such as high blood pressure/hypertension, arthritis, and high cholesterol. These are the three most widely experienced physical maladies, while nearly a quarter of respondents suffer from depression. Not to forget financial burdens; Caring.com shows that in the past year 40% of male caregivers spent over $5000.00 on caregiving expenses.



Caring.com goes on to offer 3 tips for the men:



*Educate yourself. Learn as much as you can about the care recipient's diseases and/or disabilities. "Talk to the doctor, a social worker, or a geriatric care manager," says Trina Sauceda, one of the founders of The Let's Group, a website focused on aging and caregiving. "Ask questions of healthcare workers. Discuss issues and find out what works for the care recipient and you. Inquire about outside services that can provide assistance or support."



Share your experiences and get support. Typically, men don't talk about caregiving stress, but not sharing what's really going on is a stress unto itself. "Acknowledge your emotions, because you are not a robot, you are a human being," says Harrison. "Be honest with yourself. You can't do it all. Know that stress, anger, and frustration are common feelings among caregivers. Take care of your health, too." Caregiving is a lonely job for all, but especially so when you look around and don't see members of your tribe. Explore the growing number of support groups for male caregivers.



Lead with and value your strengths. Everyone brings their own abilities to the fore with caregiving and, while skills may be different, they are equally important. If managing finances and creating schedules for doctor appointments and medications comes more easily to you, focus on those and get help, if you can, for other, more daunting aspects of caregiving. "Just because a man is managing Mom's finances instead of giving her a bath doesn't mean he isn't caregiving," says Tucker. "Men have always been nurturers, but not always in the same ways as women. If you're always looking for solutions, then use your typical 'fixer' predisposition to its full advantage and find solutions with professionals."

Medical Alert Systems.

I just wanted to add to this piece that a reader wrote me that she ordered a system for her parents which she is very happy with. So I wanted to add their link for others to look at. Please check out 'Medical Alert Advice'. Thank you for your suggestion.



I have been assigned the task of gathering information about medical alert systems as my father-in-law, 92, is again in the hospital. My mother-in-law has had company at night but will not always have that companion. When my father-in-law comes home, it would be nice to have a way for them to have access to help right away since all the sons, daughters, & in-laws work & grandkids are all over the place as well. They have in the past said 'no' to this idea but the children all think 'just put the system in place, it is best for them'. So since I am resting from surgery, I get to check into different companies and set-ups.
So the following contains my thoughts & feelings on this, taking into consideration what they are looking for. As a caregiver, you can take the information as you see fit but decide what your particular situation is and what you are trying to accomplish for your elderly parents in order to make a decision. Maybe one of these will work for you, maybe none. A lot of information is online and pretty easy to read. My suggestion: call the company and make sure you understand how it works, payments, contracts (if any), how many contacts can be on the system, cost of additional buttons (sometimes only 1 is free & you need to pay for a second & it may affect the monthly charge), if there is a trial period, any discounts available to AARP members or veterans, etc. There was additional information given to me that I did not see on the site!! All will require agreements to be filled out before sending a system and/or installing.
My mom had an ADT system. I am not pushing this over any other - basically her reasoning was: she had heard of it, other senior people she knew had it % liked it, & they were local. It ended up being a positive experience - the call center was great, the price was right along with everyone else, it was easy to install, uninstall & return when needed, the product worked well.
Now for the companies & systems I checked out.

Take Care of Yourself: A testiment to being your own caregiver -- FIRST.

If there is any information I can pass on right now, it is that you need to take care of you first. My husband equates it to the instructions you get on an airplane -- if the oxygen mask comes down, put yours on first then your children. You are no good to your kids if you are sick or unconscious.

We are in the middle of a medical issue with me. It started back on 2012 but has reared its head recently again and now is the time to take care of it. When things started, I had the chance to have a procedure done but chose not to - doctors thought there was no immediate need, we had other things to attend to, the issue was not too bad. During this time, there have been some painful reminders of an ovarian cyst that might be growing but I explained it off as other things.
The other night we were at a fundraiser dinner. Shortly after eating, I found myself hunched over in pain, throwing up in the bushes in front of the building we were trying to leave (nice testiment to our dinner, it was very good - we hoped our hosts understood) and on my way to the ER. Long story short - it looks like the ovary twisted (nice painful feeling) and blood markers for the probability of cancer have risen. It should have been a quick and simple procedure the other day to remove it but because of the marker information that came in right before starting and my doctor could not find an oncologist who could come right away to assist, it was stopped and now we continue to forge on. My doctor decided to do an endometrial biopsy. There is an appointment with an oncologist set up and we are all hoping to get things taken care of soon, within the month I hope.
Looking back, I should have done things right away, we wouldn't need to worry about all this other stuff -- with low cancer markers, there would be no need for an oncologist. I can't work for awhile since I don't always feel well and cannot always drive because of the pain killers so I can't be on the road.
I try to look at the positive -- right now there is a 44% cancer chance which means there is a 66% chance of NO cancer - this is the number I focus on. Our oldest son is leaving in a couple of weeks for another state to work with Americorps. This is the time we need to make sure he is organized and has everything he needs to leave. Will still has not started his adult program so I really need to be home with him. So if there is any time that would be better to be ill and be home, it would be now. So I thank God for being around now and for the 'good fortune' and good timing of being around now to help. Once all is settled, I will be back to work when our boys should be in there programs. But for anyone out there -- take care of yourself first, even if it doesn't seem like it is serious enough. Just do it.

Feeling like the walls are caving in? Need help with remembering?

The holidays are here, again. So on top of a caregivers regular 'to do' list, comes the errands of buying gifts, writing cards, going to school plays or musicals, decorating the house or houses, etc., to name a few things. Most people automatically assume when you talk about memory issues, you are referring to an elderly parent or family member. Any caregiver worth their salt, will say it is not so. It is a pretty good assumption that the brain will get fried to a certain extent during this time of year. Some families have helpful other family member and friends; some families have to go it on their own.

According to AARP, there are memory boosters. Not only are they good for the older member of the family, but will be good for those caregivers who may be 'sandwiched'.
Check out these 8 memory boosters from the site: 1 - lift weights - In one study of 65- to 75-year olds with normal cognitive function, women who exercised for an hour once or twice a week, using dumbbells, weight machines and other calisthenic exercises significantly improved their long-term mental focus and decision-making. The control group — which did not see the same brain benefits — did "balance and toning exercises" including stretching, range-of-motion. Another study, of 70- to 80-year olds with mild cognitive impairment, showed cognitive improvemet among women who did either resistance training or aerobic exercises. Men weren't included in that study, but other research involving both genders finds that strength training helps preserve or improve memory.
2 - laugh - A hearty laugh provides short but similar benefits of aerobic exercise for improved heart (and brain) health and immunity. Other benefits: Laughter elevates the production of neurotransmitters linked to improved memory and alertness while decreasing stress hormones that can cloud thinking. And when listening to jokes, as you wrestle to understand the punch line, areas of the brain that are vital to learning, creativity and decision-making activate, much as they do when working out

"brainteaser" crossword puzzles and Sudoku.
3 - take a nap - In addition to improved daytime alertness, good sleep — night after night — helps keep memory and learning well-tuned. But even with Rip Van Winkle-like nocturnal habits (and certainly without), consider a regular afternoon nap for about 90 minutes. It costs nothing but time — and the payback, according to studies, could be significant. Compared to non-nappers, those who partake in daytime zzz's display measurable improvements in tests gauging decision-making, problem-solving, creativity and even tasks like recalling directions.
4 - meditate - Studies find that daily meditation can strengthen connections between brain cells, increase growth in the part of the brain that controls memory and language, and may even bolster the ability to process information and make decisions more quickly. There are various forms of meditation, but most involve spending 15–60 minutes — best if done at least once a day — of focused attention on a word, object, sound or even your own breathing.
5 - rate your plate - Grains like oatmeal, brown rice, barley and quinoa supply energy to the brain, which may boost learning. Nuts and seeds — including low-cost peanuts, sunflower seeds and flax — are loaded with vitamin E, which helps combat cognitive decline as you age. Blueberries, cherries, raspberries and red grapes contain antioxidants to feed brain areas responsible for memory and learning (apples, bananas and oranges are also good). Spinach, tomatoes, onions and asparagus are vegetable standouts. And while salmon remains supreme, less expensive fish — also rich in omega-3 fatty acids — include tuna, sardines, anchovies and mullet.
6 - step lively - Just walking briskly — no equipment necessary — cuts your lifetime risk of Alzheimer's disease by half. So does most anything else (including money-saving DIY gardening and housecleaning) that gets your heart pumping for at least 150 minutes per week, ideally for 30 minutes or longer per session. Why? Boosting heart rate improves blood flow to areas of the brain involved with memory, learning and decision-making. Hint: Studies find a walk in the park boosts energy, focus and well-being more than indoor exercise.
7 - socialize - Take a free class at the local library. Volunteer. Make use of Facebook. Or just hang out with friends. Any of these no-cost activities reduces the risk of dementia and slows or prevents cognitive decline. Theory: Social engagement means mental engagement — talking or just being around others requires focus and attention to details (while combating loneliness, itself a risk for dementia), and some research suggests even brief but regular social engagement bolsters memory, self-awareness and the ability to not be easily distracted.
8 - brush & floss - For just pennies a day, good oral hygiene can help prevent gingivitis and gum disease. Most people know that inflammation in your mouth has been linked to heart disease; what's less well-known is that gingivitis has also been linked to several cognitive problems, including declines in memory and verbal and math skills. More serious gum disease boosts the risk of memory problems as much as threefold (plus factors into stroke, diabetes and heart disease).

Also some quick mental workouts:
1) Play a brain game

2) Don't retire
3) Make musice
4) Pay attention
5) Do a jigsaw puzzle
6) Go back to school
7) Take a tech brake
8) Get a library card

Similar information is offered by Fox News from a study that was done in 2002 - 2003. It was recently published in the British Journal of Medicine acknowledging that physical activity not only helps cognitively but a seniors physical well-being, to boost healthy aging. Thank you + Caring for Aging Parents and their post from Securus GPS on Nov 26, 2013 for mentioning this Fox News article.

Concerned about your parents nutrition?

(Picture from Seniors List site) I found an article on Seniors List website called
' Nutritian and Hydration in the Elderly'. For those of us with older parents, we can all attest to the fact that their eating habits change. They want to eat less so we worry about their health, will they lose too much weight. If there is an illness, how does that impact their eating or drinking, are they focused too much on their condition? Is the condition the problem - with dementia or Alzheimer's they may forget to eat or drink. Sometimes incontinence is an issue. I know with mom, she would watch her drinking or fruit intake to stop her from going to the bathroom every couple of hours, especially if we were traveling or had to drive a long distance. 'Seniors List' mentions some things to investigate to see if you can find the root of the eating and/or drinking problem.
* Has there been a swallow study (Modified Barium Swallow) done to rule out a physical problem which makes swallowing difficult?
* Are ill-fitting dentures or poor dentition to blame for a decrease in eating?
* Is there a fear of drinking or eating because of problems with incontinence?
* Is depression a factor?
* Are medications to blame?
* Is dementia a factor?
* Is a decrease in appetite the result of a terminal illness?
Mom had issues with a couple of these - incontinence and dentures. So we adjusted her drinking with what we were doing. For her dentures, she would take them out before eating, we would cut up food in small pieces or shred it, eat more things like applesauce and yogurt. One time a dental hygienist told me that when older folks start losing weight, it affects their mouth and dentures will not fit properly. The 'Seniors List' site also lists questions caregivers need to ask if thinking about alternative nutrition methods. They are:
* Will alternative nutrition/hydration improve nutritional status?
* Will alternative nutrition/hydration decrease the risk of disease or prevent disease?
* Will alternative nutrition/hydration help to increase life expectancy?
* Will alternative nutrition/hydration improve the quality of life?
* Is alternative nutrition/hydration a short-term or long-term intervention?
* What are the risks involved with alternative nutrition/hydration?
* Are there any considerations if alternative nutrition/hydration is provided, but there is a "change of heart"?
So it is important to make decisions specific to the parent's condition and other medical concerns. People need to talk to their healthcare professional for advice.

More Resources for Caregivers

Through Caregiver Junction, a circle I belong to with Google +, there was a post about '6 creative resources for caregivers'

which was written by a certified nursing assistant, Lauren Davenport. She lists tools and resources that will help with caring for seniors and the disabled. From 101 Mobility Rotations:

** Online communication: there is online forums and support groups where you can share stories, information, tips, whatever.
** Health tracking systems: Lauren lists Monacaresa web based application that helps with the planning, coordinating, and managing the care of your loved one. I also had written a post regarding apps available. Also check iTunes.
** Assistive devices: there are grab bars, stair lifts, wheelchair ramps, automatic door openers, etc that can help someone with mobility issues move around and stay in their own home.
** Tablet/iPad: a great way to stay connected and keep up their cognitive development. User friendly it allows the 'swiping' control, allows for adjustment of screen brightness. The person can keep in touch with family and friends, reading a book, playing games, listening to music, look at pictures.
** Skype: this can help visually and audibly connect with friends and family who may be far away. They can talk and see the grandkids and tell stories. It may help with the loneliness.
** AARP Caregiving Resource Center: this covers all the basics for families and caregivers; information on insurance, healthcare, and even grief counseling.

(picture from 101 Mobility)

Adaptive Clothing and Equipment - Update.

My joining a Google+ community, Special Needs Clothing - Dress with Ease started me thinking about how it sometimes was hard to find mom something to wear when she started dialysis. She started with a chest port so we needed some type of blouse that would open low enough to allow access yet modest enough to wear around the men who were there. Sometimes buttons would work, other times no. When she changed to a fistual in the arm, (especially in the wintertime) we needed something that would be warm (they kept it cold in the center for the machines plus she was always cold being on blood thinners) like long sleeves yet would give access to her arm. Most times, she would dress in layers - sweater jackets over short sleeve shirts or t-shirts, or sweatshirts with loose arms. Then we would throw a blanket in her bag that went back and forth because the nurses would wrap that around her as she laid in the chair. As a caregiver, you may be shaking your head, yes - been there, done that!!
Anyway this started me looking a specialized clothing for seniors with special needs; these could even be used by special needs young adults. I have not tried anything from these places so I have no first hand knowledge of the quality or wear. BUT they do seem to offer a nice variety of items: it ranges from clothing to shoes to socks to equipment. In fact the shoes I have seen here are similar to the shoes Willie wears. I get his at Walmart. I use to buy Walmart's brand but have started buying Dr. Scholl's brand that they sell, only because I feel they wear better on Willie; they last longer.

Let me list and go through some of the websites I have found with clothing, etc.

Etsy.com: Men's and women's clothing which, according to the site info, are made when the order is received, with openings in the back, at the shoulders, at the hips, etc. (picture from Etsy.com)

eSpecialNeeds is a source for equipment for adults and children You can shop by brands, products, diagnosis. It seems they offer financing as well.

BHMedwear

not only shows adaptive clothing, shoes, socks, ponchos and raingear for patients but sells products for those in the medical field like scrubs, lab coats, uniforms, etc. They house linen and laundry items, incontinence care goods, diagnostic and medical equipment, bathing items to name some categories.

Wardrobe Wagon offers men's and women's clothing, undergarments,

sleepwear, hosiery and footwear, even a cape to wear if sitting in a wheelchair. There is a section - Young at Heart - which seems to show clothing for people who are NOT disabled ( I could not find anything in the description stating an unusual way to put the article of clothing on).

Adaptive Apparel shows a variety of goods from clothing to scrubs

to bed pads to masks, etc. It looks like they sell in bulk to offer a lower price. There is also a 'Solution Center' for any questions you may have regarding the benefits of diabetic socks, the convenience of velcro footwear, information on hospital gown fabrics.

Adaptive Mall has a variety of items, where you can even shop by whatever your need is. They offer choices in bicycles, strollers, bathing, items for the classroom. There is even a spot where you can submit a question to a therapist who will return with an answer within 1 business day for your special item and any measuring necessary.

I hope this may help some people who are looking for specialized clothing -- if nothing else, just to give you places to compare or maybe can help you locate that 'hard to find' item. Good Luck!!!

** According to disability scoop, if you live near West Allis, Wisconsin, you may now visit a store catering to those people who need some type of adaptive wear. Sept 20th, Accessible Wear will open offering clothing for those who are physically challenged. They also will do alterations. Check them out and good luck to the Neil Sherman and Lisa Brodacz!!

Some Benefits of Adult Daycare for the Caregiver.

(picture from ElderCarelink)
ElderCarelink sent a post reminding us of how important it is for the caregiver to take a break. According to their post, a journal called The Gerontologist, found that people taking care of elders with dementia had less stress when the elders took advantage of adult day care services. The research was done by Stephen Zarit from Pennsylvania State University, who found many benefits for those taking advantage of these services.

Caregivers found: lower care-related stresses, better experiences during the day, lower anger levels, reduces non-care stressors that could lead to depression.

There were advantages for the elderly parent / family member as well. Read On .......

A Vision Plan You May Want to Look At.

I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL REGARDING MEDICAL PLANS SO YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR CURRENT PROFESSIONALS BEFORE SIGNING UP WITH ANY PLAN.

I came across this plan, Vision Service Plan - VSP, and decided to check it out. I went on to the website and did some searching about plans and costs -- it seems like a decent plan to look at. There are vision plans for eye exams, glasses, contacts, lasik surgery, as well as dental. Costs are for individuals as well as families. I also checked around looking for doctors in a variety of areas across the country ( I took out my Christmas card list and used different addresses) - not exactly the perfect sample but it did cover some major population areas as well as smaller ones. I was able to find doctors in all areas I checked. You can sign in as a guest first and do some searching. Depending on the plan you currently have, you may want to take a look to see how it compares to what your plan covers; or find out if it can be a supplement. Some of what it helps to cover may be a separate benefit, subject to an additional cost - so look things over carefully. Again - please check with your current medical plan to see IF or HOW it may help. As a caregiver, we are constantly trying to find additional resources that can help with medical situations that may arise and looking for low-cost ways of getting what is needed so it is not draining anyone's financial resources.

Caregiving Skills.

(picture from the FCA website) I was thinking about my in-law's (both 91) and their situation as they help my father-in-law get back on his feet after some hospital and rehab stays. As they get visits from the Visiting Nurse Association (VNA) and their physical and occupational therapists ( PT and OT) to work with them, it reminded me of what the VNA did for mom and showed me how to help her with different aspects of daily life. I came across some tips on the Family Caregiver Alliance website that bears sharing. It has some great ideas on how to handle your elderly parent or whoever you are taking care of. I will copy it directly here because I do not want to miss anything.

**Approach from the front and retain eye contact. When assisting someone physically, do not approach him/her from behind or from the side. This can startle and confuse the person in your care, leading to increased levels of agitation and/or paranoia. Instead, approach from the front. Touch the care recipient on the shoulder, upper arm or hand, and tell them what’s going on. Use a calm voice to walk him/her through the whole process. For example, “Okay, let’s stand up. Good. Next, we are going to… .” Retain eye contact throughout the duration of the activity.

**Elicit your loved one’s help. Even when frail, your loved one might be able to shift his/her weight or move his/her arms or legs to make physically assisting them easier. Some examples are: “We’re getting ready to stand now, mom, so lean forward as far as you can,” or, “Can you move your leg, honey, so I can change the sheet?” A little help from them means a lot less work for you.

**Allow the person to finish what they’re doing. If, as a caregiver, you are running late, the tendency is to hurry your loved one, too. However, this rushed atmosphere is very difficult for care recipients, especially those who suffer from memory loss or brain impairment. Though you may try to sound calm and encouraging, it’s easy for loved ones to pick up our “anxious vibes.” So, even if running late, allow some time to finish the current activity before moving onto the next. For example, “Mom, after you finish that last bite of cereal, we’re going to get you dressed and ready to see your friends.”

**Utilize the major bone and muscle groups. When physically assisting a loved one, pulling or supporting them by their hands or arms is not only difficult, but may lead to injury for you and them. Instead, utilize the major muscle/bone groups.

**For example, when taking someone for a walk, stand directly behind and to the left of him or her. Place your left hand on their left shoulder, and your right hand on their right shoulder. In this way you are walking with your loved one in a comforting hug rather than pulling or pushing them. And when turning someone in a bed, utilize the large bones in the hip and shoulder, and the large muscles in the legs. Pull them toward you with your right hand over their hip or at the knee, and your left hand at their shoulder. Finally, when pulling someone to a standing position, it’s best to use a transfer belt (one can be purchased at any medical supply store for around twenty dollars).

**Once they are sitting at the edge of the bed or chair, pull up on the transfer belt, “hugging” your loved one close, again, utilizing their large muscle groups in the shoulders and the back. Remember to keep your back straight and to always change position by moving your feet, rather than twisting at the waist. And before going home from your next doctor’s appointment, ask for a referral to an occupational therapist who can help you develop your transferring skills.

**Allow for Their Reality. Remember to accept your loved one’s reality, even when assisting with a physical task. If, for example, your spouse becomes shy because he/she thinks that you are a sibling and doesn’t want to get undressed in front of you, don’t force the situation. Try leaving the room and coming back in a couple of minutes. Perhaps on a second or third attempt your spouse will recognize you and be amenable to your care. If all else fails, consider the situation. Is it an emergency? Changing a loved one’s soiled garments cannot be delayed. However, if a care recipient is being difficult and doesn’t want to take a bath or wash his/her hair on a particular day, that’s okay. Plan on doing it at a later time that day or the next day, when your loved one may accept your help.

**Finally, don’t try to physically assist with caregiving unless you can. Injuring yourself will not help the situation, and will often make your caregiving responsibilities that much more difficult. If you find yourself in a nonemergency situation where you are unable to physically assist your loved one (for example, after he/she slides from their chair to the floor) call your local fire department and request a “fireman’s assist.” They will come to your house and help you. If it is an emergency situation (where either you or your loved one are injured), contact the paramedics by calling 911.

Sleep and the Caregiver.

Sounds like a fairy tale story, right?? Sometimes it is. Whether you are an on-site or long distance caregiver, your sleep is definitely affected by a loved ones medical or mental issue. I found some advice on Caring.com "Caregiver Confessions" with tips on getting a better nights sleep.

Recognize that you're not in a sleep-supportive situation. Caregivers often fail to realize how much tension and anxiety builds up during the day. The body holds this stress and adds it to whatever issues your loved one has that may also be upending your odds of a good night's rest.

Target the tension. Spend time in the morning and, especially, at night, simply sitting still and breathing deeply. A few slow inhalations and exhalations will literally slow your heart rate and lower your blood pressure, making your body more sleep-ready.

Keep moving through the day. There's a strong association between getting exercise by day and sleeping better at night. Even two short walks of five to ten minutes each can improve your ability to rest. Can't get out of the house? Try walking stairs.

Note the diet-sleep connection. Did you know that food cravings for salty, fatty, high-carb snacks are linked to poor sleep? (picture from Leeza's Place website)

Please check out this page as there are a variety of videos to watch done by TV and radio personality, Leeza Gibbons. The videos include: Family is Being Torn Apart, When You're Feeling Guilt, When You Rarely See Friends, When You Resent Being a Caregiver, to name a few. She also has a website, Leeza's Place, a gathering place and resource center for caregivers.

Government Benefits You May Not Be Aware Of.

I was reading through an email sent to me by Caring.com, a site I just found out about this past weekend that deals with caregivers and seniors. In the site I saw a post called "9 Government Benefits You Might Be Missing Out On" It is under Government Benefits. It describes different areas of help your elderly parent or family member may be able to take advantage of. Here is a quick review of the 9 (take a look at the site for more information):

1. Social security payments to dependents: these are payments made to the spouse of the deceased or any children or stepchildren under 18 years of age. The widowed spouse must be over 62 or over 50 if disabled. If this spouse is caring for children under 16, then age does not matter. Grandchildren might also collect. Check with your local Social Security Office.

2. Shoes for diabetics: anyone who is diabetic and eligible for Medicare Part B and meet your yearly deductible.Then Medicare can pay for possibly 80% of the cost. You get custom made shoes and 3 pairs of inserts. You need to be under a doctor's care for diabetes management and suffering from serious foot problems. You will need prescription from your doctor or podiatrist. Please talk to you doctor or podiatrist to see if you qualify.

3. Free rides: for people with mobility problems and seniors who need transportation to appointments and activities. These may vary but usually it is a van that brings you door-to-door; you need to schedule it - need to make an appointment. Local aging service agencies will be able to give you more information.

4. Low-interest loans for small businesses affected by disaster: any business or non-profit damaged in a disaster, up to $2 million in low-interest, long-term loans. A lot of seniors still work, maybe still own a business; contact the Small Business Administration.

5. Home or car modifications for veterans: veterans with a disability can look into this. This is for a loan or loan guarantee to buy a house or car, or make modifications to an existing house or car. If you have a veteran family member take a look at the Veterans Benefits.

6. Free credit check: open to everyone. Just make sure you go to the federally authorize website to make sure you can take advantage of all 3 of the major reporting companies.

7. Therapy for Alzheimer's patients: for patient's with Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia covered under Medicare Part B. You may be able to get out-patient occupational, speech, and/or physical therapy. Your doctor needs to prescribe therapy and use a Medicare certified therapist. If you have Medicare Part C, Medicare Advantage might help.

8. Burial benefits for veterans: for veteran's approved for eligibility through Veteran's Administration. You get a headstone, grave site and maybe a burial allowance. This is normally in a national or state veteran's cemetery. The VA may help with burial in a private cemetery - just check.

9. Help with household chores: for those over 60 and disabled - you may get home, yard, and moving help. Check with a local service Agency on Aging to get the details. There may be a fee involved.

The Heart of a Caregiver.

The Healthy Living magazine from Sam's Club had an article on 'Heart health and the caregiver'. Caring for anyone, be it a child, spouse, or elderly parents, lets people's heart grow with the time involved, challenges, and responsibility. Not only does their heart grow in love with this caregiving but it also may grow in its experience with emotional and physical stress. So caregivers need to take care of their own hearts.

In this article. according to "The Family Caregivers Alliance", caregivers are more at risk for developing of cardiovascular syndromes such as high blood pressure or heart disease and women who care for spouses are more likely to have high blood pressure, diabetes and high levels of cholesterol. I looked around their site to find some of this information, I could not BUT there is a lot of information here - so it probably is there but just takes awhile to see it. What this site does mention is that caregivers tend to have more clinical depression than others. Plus they take more prescription medication, like for anxiety & depression, than their peers.

You, as a caregiver, need to make sure you are in the best physical shape you can be in. I know I felt stress between taking care of Will and wanting to have time with my other guys and making sure mom was OK and had what she needed. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website has a variety of topics for women to help them stay healthy. The Sam's Club magazine highlights some of their advice for the folks you take care of:

* Be informed -- learn about your family member's condition and needs. Talk to their doctors/healthcare providers. Check your local housing and health services. That way you can make good decisions.
* Get support -- the Red Cross, local hospitals, or non-profits may have support groups or have classes to stay to be informed.
* Be an advocate -- learn your legal rights. Check the Americans with Disabilities Act & the Family Medical Leave Act. Keep a documented history of medical issues so other family members and any other caregivers know your loved one's needs.
* Be empowering -- celebrate your loved one's accomplishments and milestones. Focus on positive things.

MOST OF ALL:

* Take care of yourself -- be reasonable with your own expectations. Set time for yourself and take breaks. (picture from Caregiver Alliance)