New Years Resolutions for Caregivers

A very Happy New Year to all! I have been off the grid for a while - again 'life' happened and I was side-tracked. One of my New Year Resolutions is to get back to posting. Thanks to all who seem to continue checking in with the blogs and thanks to some new people who joined/decided to follow. While we all make personal resolutions, which is a good thing, one thing to think about is making caregiving ones too. Whether it is to check on some family member or friend more often, pitch in some more to help, make changes to a home to make it safer for an elderly parent(s), now is a good time to start thinking.

Right now my husband and his brother and sisters are working to help their parents stay at home one way by trying to get them more organized: from a large desk sized calender to use for any appointments or calls to be made, to seeing if there is a way to get an apartment sized washer/dryer on their first floor, and hiring someone to do a 'cut out' in their bathtub, to make it more of a walk-in shower. This we did for my mother in her place. It was less expensive and invasive than taking out her tub/shower and putting in a walk-in. While we can all include grab bars and mats and ramps in our lists, Caring.com suggests 7 designs to help people 'live in their house forever'. They talk about 'universal design', products and features for use of anyone regardless of their physical limits. These came from the Center for Universal Design at North Carolina State University which is a resource for useful designs for anyone of any age or ability or disability.
* Design that is equally appealing to all users: "wherever possible, universal design creates spaces that can be used by everyone equally and that are appealing to all. UD doesn't stigmatize any one group of users -- like those obvious wheelchair ramps tacked onto the fronts of older homes."
For example - a no-step entry, a lever-handed front door (no knob), mirrors placed where you can be seen in them sitting or standing, no changes in floor levels.
* Flexible use: accomodates for left and right handed people and a variety of uses. Have at least one bedroom and one bathroom on the main floor (even if it starts out as a playroom or storage room), possibly a laundry area too. Use paddle handled handles in the sinks, a small rolling cart to use, pull out boards in different spots in the kitchen to help with cutting (if possible put them at different heights to accomodate someone standing or sitting), pocket doors to use less space.

* Simple and intuitive use: things that are easy to figure out. D-shaped drawers, smart shower handles, install lazy susans in areas that are hard to reach, use adjustable shelving.
* Presents essential information clearly: information can be easily received through sensory, tactile, or pictoral means. Keyless locks that use a remote control or pad, appliance controls that use words as well a pictures (like blue for cold, red for hot), a circuit breaker on the main floor that is clearly marked, smoke detectors and carbon monoxide alarms should verbalize the situation as well a show an alarm.
*Allow for user errors: install grab bars, handrails, there are also curbless showers, floors made of non-slip materials, rugs that are low-pile and tightly woven like Berber, spring loaded switch for garbage disposals that has to be held so no hands or forks get in there, contrasting edge on counters for those with visual problems - these corners should also be rounded.

* Requires low physical effort: you should not have to contort yourself or use alot of effort. Use a rocket panel light switch, switches and controls are placed at easy to reach heights like 42 - 48 inches from the floor, thermostats should be installed 48 inches from the floor, electrical outlets and phone jacks - 18 to 24 inches off the floor, mount kitchen outlets and garbage disposal controls on the counters, use raised front loading washers and dryers.
* Appropriate size and space use regardless of body size or mobility. No matter what your size or posture or mobility or intellect you should be able to use the area and equipment. Open floor plan with 5 1/2 foot halls, a variety of work surface heights, fold back doors under a cooking island for those in a wheelchair or step stool, wall mounted sink (drain at the back) with open space below for those in wheelchairs, raised or adjustable toilet seats, a moulded seat in the shower stall.
I am sure if you go through someone's house you can come up with different ideas to make the space more useful to those inside. Get creative.

Adult services start - finally! It's scary for mom!!! Things I did to make it better for him (and me hopefully).

The first Weekday Mixer was a great success! We had 100 blogs linked up and numerous social media link-ups! We hope that you all had the opportunity to mix and mingle and make some awesome new buddies!

 

 Welcome the 2nd week of The Weekday Mixer Social Media Link-Up! As you know, it is a brand new social media link-up for all to join! This mixer is all about networking and making connections. Also, you can gain exposure and increase your social media following! Link up your social media accounts and mix it up with some of the other linkers.

Each week, the Weekday Mixer will start on Sunday nights at 8:00pm and go on until Friday night at 11:59pm. One linker will be chosen each week and featured in the following week's link-up! If chosen, you can provide a brief summary about yourself and your blog/website and all of your social media accounts will be listed. It's a great way to stand out among the crowd!

Now meet this week's featured blogger...

My name is Pamela and I blog over at Macdonald's Playland. My goal is to inspire and help (even in some little way) fellow women, wives, and mommies going through their own journey...all while documenting my own. In this blog I share my creative outlets and a smorgasbord of other topics I enjoy as I adventure through wifehood and motherhood. In my blog you'll find posts on recipes (I'm always rumbly in the tumbly!), fitness (or lack thereof), thoughts on marriage (TMI much?), and lessons
in mothering/parenting (usually it's my child teaching me things!). I also share a lot of crafts/DIY, home decor, party planning, etc. Additionally, I document family adventures, life lessons, my faith, every day randomness, and other Macdonald household shenanigans!

Check out some of my posts: 

• My DIY Blog Planner
• Tour my all-white master bedroom (yes, all white..even with a toddler. I laugh in the face of danger)
• Tour my dining room
• Check out the Teddy Bear Picnic Party I threw for my daughter's 1st bday
• Pregnancy updates (we are expecting our 2nd baby...a boy this time!) :)
• How my family and I announced my 2nd pregnancy through a fun stop-motion video
• See how gullible my husband is and how I told him I was pregnant (hint: I'm slick, it was at Disneyland, and I also caught it on video)
• Tour my computer desk space & a DIY milk bottle craft (to make a vase and pen holder)
• See more of the crafts & DIY projects I make such as felt food for my child, busy bags, portable felt boards, etc.
• Add recipes to your recipe book while following along in my attempts at cooking yummy things (like Snicker-Filled Chocolate Pudding Cupcakes!)

Thank you so much to the beautiful and sweet Natasha for choosing to feature my blog this week! I am so happy to be here and look forward to meeting you all! I love meeting fellow bloggers and getting to know my readers! Please come visit my playland , say hi, and enjoy your stay.... even if it doesn't
have much to do with cheeseburgers or a clown (clowns are scary anyway.)

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Will finally started his adult service program. I love the place! It has been around for a long time and has a great reputation. They spend a lot of time and effort on employment opportunities for the adult with disabilities. During our meetings, everyone was forthcoming with information, asking tons of questions about Will and what he likes, what he can do, what has he done, skills he has, etc., as well as personal hygiene issues,

communication, chores. They covered many topics.


Now he begins his journey. The facility is very different from school -- open, busy, noisy -- with lots of new faces. His first day went relatively well. He is part of the RIde program which we normally see as small buses. This is used for older people who cannot drive and disabled adults. Well, I find out they also use taxis when there is no bus available. The first day, I was going to ride with him, so we took the taxi they sent. He was not quite sure what to make of it. I let him take his radio with a larger headset for the ride. When we got to our destination, I took the headphones back (they were too big for his backpack, with everything else that was in there). He was allowed to keep the radio and they would let him use an headset there.


Problem came when he was leaving. Not only did he see many people leaving before him, but they took their headset back. So the taxi driver told me the ride home was not exactly smooth!! I explained this was his first day and the driver was fine. I wasn't so sure about this taxi thing -- I guess I have watched too many Law & Order, CSI, Criminal Minds, and my mind goes thru what if ... What if they make other stops and he tries to get off, what if the driver tries something (Will doesn't speak and is pretty easy), what if someone tries to take something out of his bag, what if they take him to the wrong stop and tell him to get out??


The next day, I take him. I see many taxis when we get there and talk to people. Taxis have been driving their clients for years and there have been no issues. OK..... He has a great day!!! I had purchased earbuds (we had none that worked at home the day before) and let him use those. He did just fine. Again he got anxious seeing other people leave and not him, he had to wait. But the ride home was fine, he even had a young lady in the taxi riding home with him!!!


So 3 areas that popped up that gave us or me problems: the first was the radio, easy - earbuds. The second issue was departing the facility. So I took to his iPad and the 'calender'. I set up the Monday - Friday time period that he is going to be there. So if he gives them a problem, they can point to his schedule: you are here 8:30 - 2:30. I set the next hour for 'wait for ride' since sometimes there may be a delay in pick-up. They can also add to it if he gets anxious about lunch or break or whatever. We also set up an agreement that they can write to me in the 'notes', to let me know how he does. Third is a mommy issue, the trip by himself. I know he is 21 but still s little boy in my eyes. Maybe I would feel better if he spoke. There have been no issues that I know of with people going to centers such as these via outside transportation companies. The local school busses have had more problems!! He seems excited when I told him he could take the ride himself in the morning, so I hope (with his radio working), he'll sit and enjoy the scenery! Lastly - I will try NOT to call the center to make sure he got there OK!!! Which face do I wear today????

Terms to Know For Your Journey Through Special Education.

The National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities (NICHCY) has listed numerous 'key terms' that parents or guardians should be familiar with as they find their way through the educational system. You will hear and get to participate in these; sometimes they can be trying and tiresome but very necessary; working with people who have a great interest in your child it will seem easy. Make sure people listen to you; I have heard horror stories from some parents but have found when you deal with your child's teacher, speech and occupational therapists, physical therapists if needed, social worker, school nurse, etc, as long as everyone realizes that they are there for your child (not you or them) by keeping it on the child people are more open to listening. Some parents think they have to fight (loud and almost emotionally) to get what they want; parents have to realize they cannot always get what they want when they want it (you don't know the school system and what the parameters are). What I found best was to keep asking periodically, try to demonstrate why your child needs what they need - show them a new task they have learned or what they seem to keep falling back on. Remember YOU, the parent, have to be trying to teach as well - it isn't the teachers who have to teach; you need to reinforce what your child

needs to learn at home. Most of all -- do it nicely. Screaming and yelling do not have much of an effect.

Anyway back to the terms. For a more involved description please see NICHCY website.
** IDEA: Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. "it guides how special education and related services are provided to children with disabilities in the United States. States develop their own special education policies and procedures based on what IDEA requires. They are allowed to go beyond what IDEA requires–and frequently do, because the law leaves a great many things to state and local discretion–but they are not permitted to have policies or procedures that are not consistent with IDEA’s provisions."
** Child with a disability. Generally speaking "means a child evaluated in accordance with §§300.304 through 300.311 as having an intellectual disability**, a hearing impairment (including deafness), a speech or language impairment, a visual impairment (including blindness), a serious emotional disturbance (referred to in this part as ‘‘emotional disturbance’’), an orthopedic impairment, autism, traumatic brain injury, an other health impairment, a specific learning disability, deaf-blindness, or multiple disabilities, and who, by reason thereof, needs special education and related services."
** FAPE. Free Appropriate Public Education. special education and related services that are provided at public expense, under public supervision and direction, and without charge; meet the standards of the SEA, including the requirements of this part; include an appropriate preschool, elementary school, or secondary school education in the State involved; and are provided in conformity with an individualized education program (IEP) that meets the requirements of §§300.320 through 300.324.
** IEP. Individualized Education Plan. This means "a written statement for each child with a disability that is developed, reviewed, and revised in a meeting", usually held yearly. This gets involved with many facets like measurable goals, what the child will or will not participate in, alternate assessments, adaptive technology, etc., so please read about it on the site.

To learn more terms, go here.

In-Take Meeting for Adult Services.

Well as the end of December appproaches, Will turns 21 and he gets closer to officially graduating; he was able to walk the stage with his peers at the end of his regular senior year. Now he can get his diploma or certificate (whatever the state has decided for our special needs students) and turn to adult day services, which we have been working towards these past months - see transition label. I picked out 2 agencies for him to attend and today we had our first in-take meeting. The John Fogarty Center is for employment 2 days a week. They also offer music, art, computer for both skills and fun. They wanted me to bring Will and he wasn't fazed by the fact it was comperable to being at a Camp David summit meeting. Wow! A good number of staff members were there and believe me, I am not saying this is a bad thing! I thought it was wonderful. Very similar to the past IEP meetings we had. There was our state agency case worker, social workers from the agency, a nurse, the person in charge of the employment program, people in charge of the agency offices. As everyone explained their job and how they were to be involved with Will's program, I came to the conclusion that clients in the program are very well taken care of. Questions and answers went around the room, to Will included so they can see how he handled himself and uses his iPad for communication. His plan goes to the state from here to be approved. In the meantime, we get more forms filled out. He should be eligible to ride a bus, here called the RIde Program, that is designated for people with disabilities and seniors who fill the state's requirements from several different agencies. It may be free or for a small fee. Part of the form is sent to this person's physician, which should not be a problem for him. We now sit and wait for one agency plan to be finalized. In the meantime, I hope to get started working on his second agency, Community Living of RI for 3 days a week. This will be more for social, in the community trips and events. As soon as the word comes down, there will be another meeting to firm up plans here. We looking forward to starting at the end of January, beginning of February. We all know plans can be modified, so if Will needs things changed, it should not be a problem. Everyone so far has been easy to talk to and seem very upfront with information.

Take a peek at these fun yet functional gift.

I have seen a variety of Christmas gifts for elderly parents, even appropriate for those with a disablity this season from different vendors and sites. Check these out to see if anything catches your eye.

(Bluetooth phone, Fitbit, LifeBio Journal)

There are plenty more. Please click here.