Sharing information & services we use for our special needs child, Will, and our elderly parents. Exploring more services & inviting others to share their stories with us.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Thinking About the Future.
I received an email with a post from BrightStar about making sure that everyone, from senior citizens to those with disabilities be allowed to live with dignity and independence in a supportive community. For those in Texas, their agency offers services for senior citizens, those with disabilities, and family caregivers to help people stay in their own homes longer. Contact them directly. Please check with your local social service agencies for possible options for you and your family in your area.
This started me thinking, again (my kids would say 'so that's what that smell is'), what will happen when we get too old to take care of Will?? We have thought of guardianship, the type that will authorize someone to take him in and provide the help he needs. We just haven't thought of anyone we would like to ask yet. Our other 2 boys, we can only hope, will step in but you never know where they will be, if they will have a career that will keep them travelling or moving, if they will have a spouse, who may not be comfortable taking in a special needs person (especially a male who may need personal hygiene help). Some groups homes are very good, others have not been the best for people so you hear through the news or grapevine of families. Kidding we ask our boys about taking care of us in our old age. The response?? We'll find a nice nursing home for you. So again, kidding, I mention to people -- how about an assisted living type of place that will take elderly parents with a special needs son or daughter?? There could be a suite type of 'apartment', in another wing of the community, which would allow parents to continue to live with their son or daughter AND get the help everyone may need!! Respite care is right on the premises, so the parents could get some time off. There could be activities just for the special needs group so they will not disrupt the elderly folks who may not be understanding of the noises or gestures or activities of the son/daughter. Also this way, should one of them need a nursing home placement, hopefully they can stay right in the community, so everyone can visit - constant family contact can be good for all. The displacement that the special needs person finds or feels when a parent 'moves out', will be minimal - they will just be in another room in another building.
I don't know if something like that would work, but it does seem to settle some problems. How this may work financially, not sure. Private pay or will Medicare or Medicaid be able to help. It seems to me, one bill for one placement, for similar services by people already there, would be a great deal. This way too, the family would know that the son or daughter would be taken care of when the parents pass away. Anyone out there think the same?? Anyone familiar with this system want to discuss this further with me??
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4 Signs of Caregiving Stress Overload
ElderCarelink email posts 4 signs that should not be overlooked by you, the caregiver, or a close family member or friend. They report that even though the immediate caregiver may not be helping in direct care, the mind is never far from the needs of the older person, thinking about meals, falling, medications. Take the opinion of a family member or friend if they are telling you that you are stressed.  Four signs: you skip your own physicals; you isolate yourself from others; you eat and/or drink too much for good health; you are short tempered with the elder, your spouse or your children. If any or all of these sound familiar, take a break no matter how short in order to recharge.  For more information on caregiver stress see ElderCarelink 
Ranting
You can check out my ranting and stream of consciousness writing about looking at adult service providers with Will.
A Caregiver's Poem
I was looking through a 'Caregiver's Blog: Senior Care Support' and came across a poem that was shared by a writer, Dana, from the blog. The poem was written by Becky Netherland and Dana's grandmother shared it with her. I thought it was great and there is not much to say about it - just read!!! Enjoy!! 
(picture from Caregivers Blog)
I’ve traveled paths you’ve yet to walk
Learned lessons old and new 
And now this wisdom of my life 
I’m blessed to share with you 
Let kindness spread like sunshine 
Embrace those who are sad 
Respect their dignity, give them joy 
And leave them feeling glad 
Forgive those who might hurt you 
And though you have your pride 
Listen closely to their viewpoint 
Try to see the other side 
Walk softly when you’re angry 
Try not to take offense 
Invoke your sense of humor 
Laughter’s power is immense! 
Express what you are feeling 
Your beliefs you should uphold 
Don’t shy away from what is right 
Be courageous and be bold 
Keep hope right in your pocket 
It will guide you day by day 
Take it out when it is needed 
When it’s near, you’ll find a way 
Remember friends and family 
Of which you are a precious part 
Love deeply and love truly 
Give freely from your heart 
The world is far from perfect 
There’s conflict and there’s strife 
But you still can make a difference 
By how you live your life 
And so I’m very blessed to know 
The wonders you will do 
Because you are my granddaughter 
And I believe in you.
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